Well, I know it's a little late to blog about these two. But I mean, ok. I always thought I'd be REALLY happy if Brad and Jen broke up. You know, because then Brad could marry the woman he was SUPPOSED to marry. Me, of course. But somehow I've found that I'm extremely sad for the two. I mean, it must be hard enough for it not to work out with two people. But we're talking divorce here. And they're already pretty old. Then they have to deal with all the negative publicity. I mean, it's just sad. That's all.
Besides, I'm marrying Ty now anyway. I don't need Brad. I guess I do sort of still want him though.
Boys. Too many I tell you.
4 comments:
that is ok heather... Brad has been having an affair with me, that is why they are getting a divorce! Sorry he did not tell you.
i was sad too! : (
^ that was Veroica.
Brad Pitt can do whatever and whoever the hell he wants.
So photos have surfaced that reveal Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie off the set during filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and the two are a little closer than his then-wife probably would have liked. Are you surprised? I hope not. And Jennifer Aniston shouldn't be, either.
Every woman who sees Brad Pitt in person, in a movie, or on TV wants to sleep with Brad Pitt. As a man, it's Brad Pitt's job to take advantage of these opportunities. He has to fuck them. If he doesn't, he'll let the rest of us down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but not too many guys get the chance to rail Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston in the same lifetime, let alone week. And for any man to pass up such an opportunity would result in such a monumental loss of Manhood Points that the only way he could earn them back would be to sit on a toaster and drop his still-attached, suddenly worthless set of testicles down the two separate slots. In other words, his predicament... wasn't one. At all.
Now, I'm not condoning adultery here, but... well, yes I am. When Brad Pitt decides to get married, there are certain unwritten rules that apply. Like, he's still allowed to screw whoever he wants. It's his job at this point. And if you're his wife, and you have a problem with it, you're required to be hotter than every woman you don't let him sleep with. Which, for a long time, gave Jennifer Aniston the upper hand. Poor Brad was required to have sex with Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Aniston only. It was hard not to feel for the guy.
So what happens when someone like Angelina Jolie comes along? She might be a little on the psychotic side, but she's definitely more attractive than that chick who thinks she can just play Rachel in every role she gets for the rest of eternity. See, Angelina already made me forget that girls's name... so you can't really blame Brad for forgetting he was married to her. Use logic or die.
Here's the ruling on situations where Brad finds a potential mistress better looking than his wife: The new chick is given full roaming rights in the bed of the woman he's legally stuck with, for two weeks. She's earned a free trial just by being gorgeous, and Brad will need at least a fortnight to assess her skills. His wife can either A) join in, B) pay very close attention and pick up some new moves, or C) try to sleep through it. Apparently, that's where things got sticky between Brad and Jennifer. She wouldn't allow it, and in The Brad Pitt Relationship Bible, standing up to Brad breaks all ten commandments.
So naturally, they hit splittsville. Which really shouldn't be that damaging to anyone, considering they're both rich regardless who gets what, neither of them will have trouble moving on, and there weren't any kids for this to scar. But you can bet God isn't too happy about it. When he created his gift to women, he expected them to appreciate it. As a result of her blatant transgressions, I'm predicting a rough year professionally for what's-her-face, to the point where we may forget about her, and another splendid one for Mr. Pitt. God will punish her for trying to make Brad Pitt feel like a regular human being, and help him get through the tormenting nightmares of such absurd thoughts.
Things are already off to a great start, as he's secured a role endorsing Heineken in a prominent Super Bowl ad. Hey, remember when that chick Jennifer Aniston used to star in those commercials? That's weird. What ever happened to her, anyway? HAHAHA!
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